Column for Dec. 20, 2007

Demonstrating the Christmas spirit of giving

Every so often, I get the opportunity to be witness to acts of true love. These past few weeks, I have seen people give selflessly to others and show the true spirit of Christmas. One thing that I have said for years is that I would rather be the church than "go to" church. I would rather never darken the door of a church building and do as James wrote, "show you my faith by my works" than do just the opposite. This is the spirit we are supposed to celebrate at Christmas. God gave his only begotten son, which is what we commemorate each year on December 25th, and again in the Spring when we celebrate the resurrection of Christ. Christmas may get more attention each year, but without what most refer to as Easter, nobody would care about Christmas.

There is one couple who is very dear to me. They have been close friends for over fifteen years, have seen me through some tough times as well as some good times. Just today, as I am writing this, they are blissfully celebrating the love they have for three special girls. These three girls have been in the foster care system for almost six months now. Their mother could not continue to care for them, since she had to leave her abusive husband for fear of her own safety and that of their five children. The three girls were split up and put in foster care, along with the twin baby boys, after the mother could not support the family on her own. I personally know this mother, having been introduced by the proud, new foster parents that I call friends, and also now call the mother a friend.

This couple was happy to take in these precious girls, ages 2, 4, and 6 years. They have selflessly gotten toys, clothes, food, car seats, and bedding supplies for these children, as well as spent a great deal of time in preparation wading through the government bureaucracy, the eventual arrival, and now the actual care for these girls as a total labor of love. These girls were going to spend Christmas apart, in two different foster homes. Now, because of the relentless labor of love by one special couple, the girls will be spending Christmas together in a loving home and get to know the true meaning of giving.

Another act of kindness I have personally witnessed on more than one occasion is by another person with whom I am well acquainted. This man does something that I personally recommend to each and every one of you reading this column. This man travels frequently across North Carolina, sometimes into South Carolina, and up and down the eastern seaboard on occasion. I have personally seen this man take the opportunity to take the time to thank men and women who serve in our armed forces.

How he does this, as his favorite method of expressing gratitude to our military, is when he is dining out during his travels and sees military men or women in a restaurant, he will either simply ask the wait staff to bring him the tab for the soldier(s) or personally walk over to the military personnel and ask to pick up their meal tab and tip. If the wait staff is agreeable to bringing him the check, he personally walks over to the military personnel when they are about to leave, tells them that he is picking up the expense of their meals, shakes their hands, looks them square in the eye, and thanks them for their service to our country.

He does not go to them to tell them he is getting their meal to give his gifts before men, but rather to let them know why he is paying for their meals and to express personal, heart felt gratitude. I find that to be classy. Having witnessed this simple yet effective means of thanking a serviceman or woman, I have continued this tradition during my travels. If more people would also take up this idea as a means of materially as well as verbally expressing gratitude for service and sacrifice for our nation, I do believe that we will foster a better relationship with our military, indelibly mark the consciences of fellow men and women, as well as foster personal habits of expressing gratitude. Won't you try this same thing the next time you see someone in uniform at a dining establishment? Why not try this in other variations, such as for clergy, police, fire, or other such people who often work thankless jobs for the benefit of the greater populace?

I know that this week's column is a bit more sappy than normal, but I wanted to write this as my way of hoping that just before Christmas arrives, that you will know and maybe yourselves demonstrate what it means to give at Christmas time.