Column for April 12, 2012

It is the day after Resurrection Sunday as I am writing this, and I am thinking about Tuesday morning when I will get to hold my newborn son in my arms (past tense as you read this).  Here I am almost 44 years old and my bride and I are having another baby.  I commented on my Twitter account on Sunday, as we were anxiously awaiting little Benjamin’s arrival, “Today we celebrate a vacated tomb. Sharon and I hope to soon celebrate a vacated womb.”  Just today we got the news that our doctor wanted to schedule the delivery of our baby on Tuesday morning.

To give you an idea of where my thought process was going, earlier in the wee hours of the morning, I had written on my Facebook account, “I was woken up by a coughing fit (I think that my bronchitis is coming back) and laid awake for a while thinking about my next newspaper column and TV commentary. Yeah, I write those things in my head several times before ever typing them out.  I figured since I was up and needed my inhaler [prescribed for the recent bout with bronchitis], which was at my desk, I would sit and check online stuff.  The whole time I have been thinking about the impending birth of Benjamin, whose due date is just over a week away. I kept thinking about God's love, the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus, and how he loved me enough to give his daughter to me and entrust me with my family. This picture [that I shared online] was taken on our wedding day and is perhaps my favorite ever of Sharon and [my stepson] John.  Matthew was conceived the next day, and now baby Ben is almost here.  What an amazing journey it has been to have gotten here.  John has grown so much since this photo.  Lord, may I become the man you want me to be, the father I need to become, the husband I desire to be, and the son you have re-created me to be.  Thank you, Father God, for your grace, your love, your patience, your mercy, and your salvation through Christ, my risen Lord.”

I have given a lot of thought over the years about the values I want to teach my children.  I have my personal convictions, and some of them I will not push upon other people outside of my family, since they are just that, personal convictions.  I don’t mind sharing them, however.  I disagree with many of my contemporaries on some things, even with how one celebrates Resurrection Sunday (I don’t even really like calling it Easter).  I am amazed at how many churches, for instance, sponsor an Easter egg hunt.  I don’t equate the handling of pagan fertility symbols like colored eggs or cute, fuzzy bunnies with the risen Christ.  Nor do I personally find it glorifying to Him.  However, I am not about to condemn those who do celebrate as such. 

I don’t teach my boys about Santa Claus and I cringe when well-meaning people ask my children if “Santa has been good to them this year”.  I will teach them that what began as a great remembrance of a man of faith has been twisted into a fairy tale of commercialism and magic.  Santa will take on the same relevance as Shrek in an animated movie.  I just have a problem telling my children that there is a man who can break into everyone’s house across the entire world in just one night; that he knows when we are sleeping, knows when we are awake, and knows when we are bad or good.  I cannot in all good conscience ascribe attributes of deity (as my theologian buddies would say, incommunicable) to a mere mortal.  If I can lie to my boys about a mythical individual, whom they will eventually disbelieve, how can I expect them to believe in an omniscient God whom they also cannot see (shopping malls and parades with posers in red uniforms excluded)?

I have a hard time teaching the existence of a Tooth Fairy when teaching that Tinkerbell is only a cartoon character.  I have a hard time with teaching the existence of an Easter Bunny and yet teach the truths of Christianity over animism, and that Bugs Bunny is just a cartoon.

Again, these are only my personal thoughts and convictions, and I am not going to condemn anyone who promotes mythical holiday characters.  Every major holiday these thoughts come to mind, and especially now, since my baby boy is about to arrive.

 

Column for Dec. 20, 2007

Demonstrating the Christmas spirit of giving

Every so often, I get the opportunity to be witness to acts of true love. These past few weeks, I have seen people give selflessly to others and show the true spirit of Christmas. One thing that I have said for years is that I would rather be the church than "go to" church. I would rather never darken the door of a church building and do as James wrote, "show you my faith by my works" than do just the opposite. This is the spirit we are supposed to celebrate at Christmas. God gave his only begotten son, which is what we commemorate each year on December 25th, and again in the Spring when we celebrate the resurrection of Christ. Christmas may get more attention each year, but without what most refer to as Easter, nobody would care about Christmas.

There is one couple who is very dear to me. They have been close friends for over fifteen years, have seen me through some tough times as well as some good times. Just today, as I am writing this, they are blissfully celebrating the love they have for three special girls. These three girls have been in the foster care system for almost six months now. Their mother could not continue to care for them, since she had to leave her abusive husband for fear of her own safety and that of their five children. The three girls were split up and put in foster care, along with the twin baby boys, after the mother could not support the family on her own. I personally know this mother, having been introduced by the proud, new foster parents that I call friends, and also now call the mother a friend.

This couple was happy to take in these precious girls, ages 2, 4, and 6 years. They have selflessly gotten toys, clothes, food, car seats, and bedding supplies for these children, as well as spent a great deal of time in preparation wading through the government bureaucracy, the eventual arrival, and now the actual care for these girls as a total labor of love. These girls were going to spend Christmas apart, in two different foster homes. Now, because of the relentless labor of love by one special couple, the girls will be spending Christmas together in a loving home and get to know the true meaning of giving.

Another act of kindness I have personally witnessed on more than one occasion is by another person with whom I am well acquainted. This man does something that I personally recommend to each and every one of you reading this column. This man travels frequently across North Carolina, sometimes into South Carolina, and up and down the eastern seaboard on occasion. I have personally seen this man take the opportunity to take the time to thank men and women who serve in our armed forces.

How he does this, as his favorite method of expressing gratitude to our military, is when he is dining out during his travels and sees military men or women in a restaurant, he will either simply ask the wait staff to bring him the tab for the soldier(s) or personally walk over to the military personnel and ask to pick up their meal tab and tip. If the wait staff is agreeable to bringing him the check, he personally walks over to the military personnel when they are about to leave, tells them that he is picking up the expense of their meals, shakes their hands, looks them square in the eye, and thanks them for their service to our country.

He does not go to them to tell them he is getting their meal to give his gifts before men, but rather to let them know why he is paying for their meals and to express personal, heart felt gratitude. I find that to be classy. Having witnessed this simple yet effective means of thanking a serviceman or woman, I have continued this tradition during my travels. If more people would also take up this idea as a means of materially as well as verbally expressing gratitude for service and sacrifice for our nation, I do believe that we will foster a better relationship with our military, indelibly mark the consciences of fellow men and women, as well as foster personal habits of expressing gratitude. Won't you try this same thing the next time you see someone in uniform at a dining establishment? Why not try this in other variations, such as for clergy, police, fire, or other such people who often work thankless jobs for the benefit of the greater populace?

I know that this week's column is a bit more sappy than normal, but I wanted to write this as my way of hoping that just before Christmas arrives, that you will know and maybe yourselves demonstrate what it means to give at Christmas time.