Column for May 19, 2011

Today was a very frustrating day at work. I didn’t get anywhere near the amount of work accomplished that I had hoped. The past several days have been long and tediously frustrating, as well. My computer, which used to work well, started to get slower than cold molasses. I did some basic maintenance on it and it sped up nicely, but then started giving me massive problems with a connection to my company’s private network. It was one of those days.

Then I started thinking about some of the other things in my life. My television show lasted a little over six months and just recently went off the air because of a few different circumstances to which I can only shrug my shoulders and speak of my gratitude for the opportunity.

Occasionally I turn on the radio and listen to a disc jockey or talk show host and know that I am better at it than the person to whom I was listening, but still give thanks for the career that I have and realize that I am making more money now than I would be if I had pursued my broadcasting career. I have never been the best at any job I have had, but have always done well at most jobs and businesses I have held or owned. Some jobs I was not so well suited for, some businesses were not sufficiently successful to warrant my continued efforts. Nevertheless, I learned from them all.

I think about how the whole time I was growing up that I never won an essay contest, science fair, or craft fair but sure did have a lot of second place finishes. I think about how when I played Little League baseball, municipal league flag football, and high school football, I was never on a winning team. I learned a lot about teamwork, but I spent a lot of time watching other people play while I sat on the bench or stood on the sidelines. I was never a tremendous athlete, but I competed as I was able.

I think about how I have never won an election of any consequence (not counting some small club or organization) in school or in government, though I was always good at civics and social studies. I was always the one involved in youth government activities, reported on government affairs in my first media job, and did get the top overall social studies award in my graduating class. Though I have never gone further than I have, I am grateful for the influence that I do have in this little column, in my circle of friends, and on the internet.

I think about how my finances have gotten tight since my wife has been out of work for two years and I have had to take on another car payment recently out of sheer necessity. Then I give thanks that my wife is able to stay at home with my children rather than have some day care center raise my boys, that I have employment sufficient to meet all of our needs, and that I have been able to provide a happy, loving home for my family.

I think about how much work there is to do around my little quarter acre patch of earth. The hedges need trimming. The lawn that is looking shaggy. The house, shed, concrete drive and walkways, and fence all need power washing. I have a roof leak and some repair work to do in my kitchen. I have a finite amount of time in which to get it all done and don’t know how I will be able to accomplish any of it. Then I stop and give thanks that I have a temperate, dry house in which to live.

My wife and I are both getting older but have still been talking about having more children. I think about the stupid things I did as a youth that would make me a father of children the same age as the waitress I had the other night. I think about how my first marriage yielded no children for some thirteen years and how my present wife and I have suffered through two miscarriages just this past year. Then I stop and give thanks for the family I have. I have a dedicated, loving bride, a step son I love dearly, and a toddler that is truly the cutest baby I have ever seen. I have also been able to give my boys much more of a father than I got to have my own self when I was young.

You can usually find out where my thoughts are going from day to day on Facebook or Twitter on the internet, and today is no exception. I “tweeted” simply, “At least with Christ, I am always on the winning team.” In all the thoughts about how some things in life have not been as stellar as I would have hoped, I have other thoughts that can be summed up in this: His grace is sufficient for me, and for that I am grateful. Thank you, Father God, for your grace and for your son that you sacrificed for me, someone who never knew a winning team until you took me on as one of your teammates.