Column for March 12, 2009

Why do I wake up scratching so much? Some canine logic for thought.

In my home, my wife and I have a baby gate placed in our bedroom doorway. Because of the construction of the hallway and the door jams, I have not installed the locking mechanism or hinge on the plastic swinging gate. It wedges in the niche at the door frame nicely. The gate is not in place to keep a baby in or out, but rather to keep my dogs from coming into the bedroom at night.

I have two dogs. One is a Pekingese that I have owned for about three years. Because she is white and beautiful, I named her Daisy. She was a special needs animal that was abandoned and was even on WRAL TV, which is how I found out about her story. I adopted her after she was rescued from certain death at the animal shelter. Daisy's news story and follow up story are on the internet on her myspace.com page or youtube.com. My other dog is a mutt that was rescued from being chained to a clothes line in below freezing weather last year. I named him Slime Dog because when I rescued him, he was full of the slime of mud and his own bodily waste. I affectionately told him that he was a slimy dog. He responded to my calling him that, hence the name. He is part black and part white, so I have pondered renaming him Barack Odoga in honor of our new President.

The two dogs became best friends and are a source of both joy and frustration at times, as all pets are. The Pekingese used to be rebellious and still has some fits of insubordination when it comes to her being housebroken. One of her favorite spots was on my bedroom floor, hence the gate to keep her out. Barack Odoga has become very affectionate towards his humans over the past year he has been living here, and loves the indoor comforts of a house pet. He also still enjoys being in my fenced backyard and to go on walks. He loves to jump on my bed or my son's bed and snuggle. My wife, however, seriously dislikes sharing a bed with Barack Odoga, so the gate stays in place.

Besides the dogs, I've had two cats even longer. The two sweet felines are able to jump over the gate quite easily and love to come say hello, get or give affection, or sleep on the bed or dresser. Old Slime Dog could probably jump over the gate if he wanted to, but he has yet to discover that part. Sometimes when the cats jump over the gate, they will push off with their hind feet in mid jump and nudge the gate open just a little bit. As dumb as he is (I often call him "Stupie" and he responds nicely), Slimy is smart enough to know how to get his paw or snout in the slightly cracked open gate and push it open. That is when the fun begins.

I am a very light sleeper and am often have insomnia. I have for decades. When I hear the gate get kicked open, I know the dog will get his snout through the gate rapidly and will end up jumping on the bed, take up real estate on my king size bed, pull down covers, and inhibit free human movement. I can tell you from experience that a semi-conscious, annoyed pregnant woman is a she-bear and old Slimy gets shoved, kicked, and fussed at until he relents and leaves the bed. I, on the other hand, am more tolerant of canine snuggles and dog breath. Besides, Slimy does does not complain about snoring and will toss and turn less than my wife does.

What is the object lesson here? We have allowed the gate to be cracked on a lot of things in our government, family, and religious lives. We allowed money to be taken from the "locked" Social Security fund and now that money is part of general revenues and expenditures. We allowed money to be raided from the highway trust fund in NC and now Governor Perdue is illegally raiding the state lottery trust fund to balance the North Carolina state budget. We allowed no fault divorce, single parent homes, welfare programs, tax increases, homosexual agendas, liberal sex education programs, illegal immigration, gun control, worldliness, and so many other issues to enter through a crack in the gate instead of locking it down. Now we have to pay the consequences of a wide open gate and wake up with fleas.