Column for March 19, 2009

Trying to not be weary and not faint in my column

I was just asked if writing a column each week wears on me after a while. To be perfectly honest, sometimes it does. Today is one of those days in which it does wear on me.

Sometimes ideas for columns just present themselves to me and I find easy fodder. Other times I start to bang away on my keyboard only to re-write with something else altogether. My biggest challenge is sometimes not what to include in a column, but what to leave out. I often have to go back and take things out of the column and still get the idea across. The newspaper's editor will attest to the idea that I can sometimes just keep typing like the Energizer Bunny bangs a drum. Sometimes, before I know it, I have doubled my allotted space. I have gotten chastised for that more than once. I thank the editor for his criticism and keep on typing with the intent to do better in the following column.

What wears on me at times is the wonder as to whether or not the effort is worth the energy and having any influence or not. I obviously have a set of ideals, cling to them like a pit bull, and am not afraid to express them. I have lost friends because of this very thing. I have lost acquaintances and connections with old friends, coworkers, classmates, and the like as a result. I have been kicked out of churches for the same tenacity to what I believe…nay, know to be truth.

What I can say in hindsight is that I have in almost every such case been vindicated. I have been proven correct, men have come to me later (sometimes years later) and apologized, or the facts just bore out as such. There have literally been times when I "knew that I knew that I knew" what I was pontificating was the honest truth. I have clung to that and when deep in my gut I know I am right, I am almost never wrong. When I am wrong, I am man enough to admit it, make corrections, and press forward.

So, with that being said, why would I be weary? I grow weary from time to time when I am so exasperated at the things I see around me and feel powerless to do anything about them. Usually it is when I am profoundly disgusted in general rather than at a specific principle.

What do I mean by in general? When I see trillions of dollars wasted on programs that will do little except get us into tremendous debt. I mean when I see terrorist prisoners about to be released from a prison to fight another day. I mean when I see this country announcing in advance to the world and to our enemies when they can expect to get no more resistance from the United States. I mean when I see the state of North Carolina raid the lottery budget to balance the state budget and yet spend like a drunken sailor on shore leave.

I mean when my taxes go up and see no real relief in sight. I mean when I see local spending at the municipal and county levels at an all time high. I mean when I see an invasion of this nation by illegal aliens and no desire on the part of our elected officials to stop it. I mean when our elected officials totally and blatantly ignore the Constitution. I mean when our system of government is usurped and we become a socialist nation. I mean when I see the Communist Manifesto played out before my eyes in the United States and I want to move to Iceland or Canada.

Sure, all these thoughts cause me to grow weary, make me want to throw up my hands in disgust, and ask, "Why bother?" However, if I am anything, I am tenacious in my beliefs. When I know something to be true, I latch on and hold fast. I admire those who are the same way. God made me stubborn about some things and it is my lot in life to hold fast. If it were not so, I would not be writing my little column about big ideas here in this little newspaper in this little town. Thank you, Lord God, for my opportunity and responsibility to do so.